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Reading through the articles for this week, I couldn't help but wish that Ariel Levy might pick a few of them up as well and give them some serious consideration. I don't mean to discount everything that Levy says or suggest that perhaps she hasn't read these articles or ones similar to it--I think that Female Chauvinist Pigs actually made several good points and had a basis in its skepticism, if not always a legitimate one. Still, the thing that always stood out for me while reading that book was the question of, "But what if sexuality is not about that? Can't it be for women?" In my opinion, Levy was too busy judging all of those who blatantly indulge in "raunch culture" to consider that majority of women who are just trying to negotiate self-happiness with themselves and their sexuality.
The article that really stood out to me the most in this way was Rebecca Walker's, "Lusting for Freedom." You might hear Walker's story--a girl who'd lost her virginity at eleven--and instantly shake your head in regret, thinking of the bad things that must have come for her. No one would stop to think that exploring her sexuality so young allowed her a certain freedom from the limitations that older women face every day. I'm not promoting women going off and having sex at eleven--I think it's illegal for a reason. Girls that young usually can't understand the extent of their actions--but I think that Walker has a point in saying that women shouldn't be ashamed of having a sexual side. Sex in terms of women is so often judged, whether it's as Levy does it saying that women indulge in their sexual sides because of men and the system they live in so that it's actually an act of submission, or in terms of violence and disease. There is so very rarely a healthy in between. Walker sees this. If Levy does, she doesn't focus at all on it. Women's sexuality seems to be constantly termed in binaries: virgin vs. whore, rape vs. making love, lesbian vs. heterosexual, love vs. lust. People are so busy trying to navigate these categories that they don't take the time to explore outside of them, or in between them. Just like Sonia Shah's sister, who had to pick one kind of sexuality, Indian or American, and was judged for that, women are judged all the time for picking a side that, in all reality, they don't have a chance of avoiding. If they don't pick a side themselves, someone will push the label onto them anyway. Healthy views of sexuality don't stand a chance.
I agree with Brittani that Walker makes some very good points in her article. Women have been bound by these gender constraints that they have to ashamed of their sexuality. Men have always been allowed to go out and have sex freely without much of a stigma besides just "boys being boys". Walker's story is certainly on the extreme side but she still offers good advice for women. I wouldn't know but if young women want to experiment just as much as men then they should be allowed to without being called a whore or slut. I definitely think eleven is a little young, but I do think that girls are starting to experiment at younger ages. Schools and parents need to start taking the iniative to let their girls know everything about sex so when they do start to experiment it will be the safe way.
ReplyDeletei think that brittani brings up some very good points in regards to the readings and relating them to what women have to struggle with on an everyday basis. Women have been made out to not be sexual or have similar sexual desires as men but that is strictly based on the fact that women are forced to supress these feelings and desires. Unlike the male body there are parts on a female that are strictly there for sexual pleasure yet women are taught that they arent supposed to be sexual and that men will not like them if they are outward about these feelings so it only takes so long until the mind takes over the body and women actually dont enjoy sex or feel negatively about what it represents.
ReplyDeleteBrittani raises such a good point! Instead of focusing on labels and categories, girls should be taught and allowed to explore their sexuality without worrying about where they fit in. Although I don't think girls should be having sex at such a young age, I think Walker's point about the necessity to explore sexuality is valid. Women who embrace their sexuality are very often labeled and for some reason, our culture places a stigma on women who are open with their sexuality. I think Levy would agree that this definitely stems from the double standard that exists in our culture. Navigating through our culture is definitely confusing for women. Young girls are constantly being hit with media images to be sexy but at the same time, they see women get labeled and shunned for embracing sexuality. I think this problem will not get solved until our culture finally recognizes that just like men, women should be allowed to explore sexuality.
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